Have you ever seen someone across the way and thought to yourself “I’d like to talk with them.” How many times have you followed through, walked across the room, and introduced yourself? None. Once or twice? Why so many missed opportunities?
If you’re like me it’s because you have no idea what to say, how they’ll respond to a complete stranger walking up to them, how much time you’ll have to talk, or even the point in making the connection to begin with. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, right? So, why risk it and add to the population of people that know of you peripherally, but don’t connect with you?
I’d like to challenge you to step outside of your own mental crisis of “what will they think of me?,” and think about the blessing you could be to them. If you put yourself into the world to serve others then they need to know you. Their life will be better for having known you.
Some of the most meaningful relationships I still have today were prompted by an awkward “Hey, I’m Emily Anne. I noticed that you ____________ and I wanted to ____________.” For example, “Hey! I’m Emily Anne. I noticed the tag on your shirt is out. Do you mind if I fix it?” They say thank you and regardless if they fix it or I do, they appreciate the gesture and their response opens the door to something else around them. “I read that book last year. It was great! What part are you on?” Sometimes there’s no intro other than “could it be more humid out here” (or something else about the weather) to get them talking.
My boss today whom I adore working with was one of these awkward conversation scenarios at first. She grew up in DC and is now a California girl. I’ve been a Carolina girl my whole life. She has no kids and I have two high-energy Tasmanian devils living with me. She’s beautiful and blonde, I dye my dark hair now on the regular as my kids stress the pigment from tresses. On the surface we had nothing in common and I knew that I would be reporting to her in the coming weeks. I called her one afternoon just to connect – on nothing in particular, but wanted to learn more about her. She asked about my kids, I shared. I asked her about California vs. DC and she shared her perspectives on both and how each of them blend into her personality and outlook on life. I asked if there was anything I could help her with. She knew that I was looking to grow and do more. I didn’t care what it was if it would allow her to see what I could do, allow me to learn something new, and alleviate some burden from her I was game. Our call was nearly 45 minutes of random, at times awkward, get to know you conversations and she couldn’t think of anything I could help her with at the time. [She’s since come up with all kinds of things. :)] I can honestly say that job aside – she will be one of those people that have had a big impact on my life.
Learning to connect with people can be one of the most powerful skills in your toolbox. Maybe they have your dream job. Maybe they seem to have this whole parenting thing down. Maybe you’ve seen then running in your neighborhood every day and you’ve noticed how they’ve gotten faster or dropped pounds. Whatever it is. My former boss used to tell me “No matter what the question is, the answer is always in the room.” When your “room” extends beyond the physical walls of the building you’re in and into the community(ies) where you live/work – every question has an answer.