January 2019 Podcast Recap

I’m committed to becoming greater in every way in 2019. Caring more about the things that matter (to me), being more present in the now, letting the small things go, leveling up…to name a few of my priorities for the year. I’ve been listening to all of the podcasts. Here’s a quick rundown of the 6 most meaningful podcasts to me so far this year.
(Note: Some of these weren’t published in January, but that’s when I got to listen.)

  1. Ed Mylett Show – The Secret to How I get 21 Days a Week! (January 28, 2019)
  2. Rise – Daily Habits that Change the Game with Brendon Burchard (#75)
  3. The School of Greatness – Jay Shetty: Small Changes for Lasting Results (January 15, 2019)
  4. The Brendon Show – Best Of: The Power of Perspective (Season 5-Episode 41)
  5. Rise Together – You Can’t Grow Unless You Fail (#30)
  6. Earn Your Happy – Use This to Keep Going When You Want to Quit (Episode 309)
Posted in Planning

It’s not too late to create your best year ever! Here’s how.

We’re a month into the new year. If inventorying your calendar for last year was too overwhelming – PAUSE – and do it now. Look back at the last month. In January did you do the things you wanted to do? Were your calendars (family, work, social) filled with things that build you up, push you to do more, bring you joy OR were there too many appointments or things to do that drained your soul, weren’t adding value, held you back?

If you don’t take the time to create your best life – no one else is going to do that for you.

Take time right now to review your calendar for January and set a plan for February that sets you up for your best year yet. You’ve got 11 more months in this year – and NEWSFLASH – they are going to fly by! Are there things you want to do this year but haven’t started laying a plan for? What are you waiting for?!?!? Get on it!

Here’s how to get started with your plan for the best year ever:

  1. Those things that you can’t get off your mind or heart that you want to do/NEED to do – write them down. Write them all down. Maybe there’s just one thing. Maybe there are ten. Write them down.
  2. Pick one to start with or start with the one you wrote down. If you wrote more than one thing down in step one, maybe you pick the one that will bring you the most satisfaction once completed, maybe you pick the one you can get accomplished first.
  3. Now that you have the one you’re starting with, write down WHY this thing is so important to you. Maybe you’ve always wanted to do it. Maybe it’s something that will reconnect you to friends/family. Maybe it’s creating a legacy for those coming behind you. Why is this thing so important? Write it down. Recalling your why when you’re in the grind of working your plan will keep you focused on why you started this in the first place.
  4. What are your goals for this thing? Be specific. Performance is improved where performance is measured, right? It’s one thing to say that you’re going to complete a marathon, but if you walk most of it and aren’t satisfied with your performance at the finish line – then you didn’t accomplish your goal. I recommend having no more than 3 measurable goals that when you accomplish this thing, you will have this overwhelming sense of satisfaction in what you’ve done.
  5. Create the plan. You have your thing you’re going to do. You have your goals. Now write down the work that needs to happen. I recommend pencil, putting the tasks on post-it notes, or an online text editor so you can move the order of things around. I’m going to lay out an example here.
    My thing: Produce a 5K for my neighborhood
    Goals: 1. 500 runners, 2. ensure $500 in cash awards for 1/2/3 male/female winners, 3. 0 injuries/incidents for runners, spectators and volunteers. A safe event for all.
    Tasks:
    Get permit from the city
    Establish race start/finish location
    Establish race route
    Evaluate sanitation needs (port-a-jons, hand washing stations)
    Get 10 sponsors or $5,000 in sponsorship dollars
    Create 5K artwork
    Registration website
    Get event insurance
    Secure police/EMT support

    In the example above, I write down everything I can think of that needs to be done first then I put them in order. For example, I can’t apply for a permit with the city if I don’t have a start/finish, route, insurance nailed down. So there are some things that have to happen before other things and you need to make your task list such that you can re-order items or add/remove items as you work your plan.

  6. Execute. The work won’t do itself. Ask for help. Delegate. Measure your progress towards the goals you set for your thing. When the going gets tough recall your why. Remind yourself why you started this thing to begin with. You can do this and think about how accomplished you’ll feel when you’ve done it.

Note about timelines: I’m not big on creating timelines for my goals. I do think that timelines can help create a sense of urgency around the need to continue which can push us over a hump when motivation wanes or the burden seems too great in the midst of the grind. Timelines can help us cut our work into smaller bite-sized portions. However, know that timelines can shift. For most, becoming a best selling author won’t come after writing their first book. If your goal is to become a best selling author you’ll write until you become one and that timeline doesn’t have an end date, but creating shorter milestones on your path to becoming that best selling author via your writing deadlines for creating your materials. Don’t get stuck on having to lose 100 lbs in the next 11 months. Set yourself up for success. Don’t rush it. Use timelines to create small wins that generate momentum toward your larger goal. Make sense? You’ve got this! I believe in you!

Posted in Planning

Power in Connecting with People

Have you ever seen someone across the way and thought to yourself “I’d like to talk with them.” How many times have you followed through, walked across the room, and introduced yourself? None. Once or twice? Why so many missed opportunities?

If you’re like me it’s because you have no idea what to say, how they’ll respond to a complete stranger walking up to them, how much time you’ll have to talk, or even the point in making the connection to begin with. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, right? So, why risk it and add to the population of people that know of you peripherally, but don’t connect with you?

I’d like to challenge you to step outside of your own mental crisis of “what will they think of me?,” and think about the blessing you could be to them. If you put yourself into the world to serve others then they need to know you. Their life will be better for having known you.

Some of the most meaningful relationships I still have today were prompted by an awkward “Hey, I’m Emily Anne. I noticed that you ____________ and I wanted to ____________.” For example, “Hey! I’m Emily Anne. I noticed the tag on your shirt is out. Do you mind if I fix it?” They say thank you and regardless if they fix it or I do, they appreciate the gesture and their response opens the door to something else around them. “I read that book last year. It was great! What part are you on?” Sometimes there’s no intro other than “could it be more humid out here” (or something else about the weather) to get them talking.

My boss today whom I adore working with was one of these awkward conversation scenarios at first. She grew up in DC and is now a California girl. I’ve been a Carolina girl my whole life. She has no kids and I have two high-energy Tasmanian devils living with me. She’s beautiful and blonde, I dye my dark hair now on the regular as my kids stress the pigment from tresses. On the surface we had nothing in common and I knew that I would be reporting to her in the coming weeks. I called her one afternoon just to connect – on nothing in particular, but wanted to learn more about her. She asked about my kids, I shared. I asked her about California vs. DC and she shared her perspectives on both and how each of them blend into her personality and outlook on life. I asked if there was anything I could help her with. She knew that I was looking to grow and do more. I didn’t care what it was if it would allow her to see what I could do, allow me to learn something new, and alleviate some burden from her I was game. Our call was nearly 45 minutes of random, at times awkward, get to know you conversations and she couldn’t think of anything I could help her with at the time. [She’s since come up with all kinds of things. :)] I can honestly say that job aside – she will be one of those people that have had a big impact on my life.

Learning to connect with people can be one of the most powerful skills in your toolbox. Maybe they have your dream job. Maybe they seem to have this whole parenting thing down. Maybe you’ve seen then running in your neighborhood every day and you’ve noticed how they’ve gotten faster or dropped pounds. Whatever it is. My former boss used to tell me “No matter what the question is, the answer is always in the room.” When your “room” extends beyond the physical walls of the building you’re in and into the community(ies) where you live/work – every question has an answer.

Posted in Planning

What you do matters. Right?

When you wake-up and think about your day ahead are you pumped? Are you excited for what the day has in store or for what you’re going to contribute? If not, I would argue that you need to spend some time today reflecting on really matters to you and coming up with a plan to make this your best day ever.

Morbid thought, but if you died today would you be satisfied with how you’ve spent the time that you had on this earth? If not, then you need to get busy living your life.

2019 started fast and furious. Work dominated much of January and February and I was left most days and weeks feeling like I was failing as a wife, mom, race director, blogger, everything else that I am or do. When I had this continual gut feeling that I was climbing the hamster wheel (read: going no where fast) I would stop my day and take out a sheet of paper. During this time-out I would start by asking myself if the way that I’m feeling is a pattern or a new “normal,” or is this just what I need to be focused on right now? I would itemize what was generating the most anxiety, what I was spending the most time on, and what needed to be done and how much time I thought that was going to take.

Being busy at work is nothing new. I love the company I work for and the work that I do. I’ve been here nearly 15 years. However, in late December/early January our entire team changed. There was some turnover, but more so every person on our team’s role changed. Some were really excited about new opportunities, some nervous about what lies ahead, all of us knowing that our work over the past 7+ years had stagnated and that we needed to shake things up. Shifting roles and responsibilities around allowed us to retain thought leadership across our team and get different eyes on processes and procedures that govern our work to find fresh ways to package our program or more efficient ways to deliver. There were other value-adds as well, but I’ll stick to theme here.

After doing this “time-out” session with myself seven times over six weeks my notes told me that this busy season of learning a new team, learning new people, learning a new delivery model would be over soon enough – this is just what I had to do right now to set myself up for maximum success.

As a leader it’s said that you won’t be able to satisfy 100% of the people 100% of the time. That’s a challenge and one I’ll happily stand-up to because the work that we do is meaningful to me on a personal level.

Some look at my job superficially and see project plans, Excel workbooks with color coded tabs, folders of standard operating procedures (SOP) that document our delivery protocols, list after list of things to do so that we deliver high quality work on time… It looks boring or mindless to an outsider. Someone very close to me has described my work to others as “pushing paper.” To me, if I don’t have statements of work that ensure our subcontractors come to the table prepared to deliver high-quality work, or have team members with development plans that help them connect their day-to-day with the larger picture of this program so that they are growing both personally and professionally, or I have an Excel sheet with errors or gaps in content that open our program up for risk – it’s a big deal! I take it as a personal failure if something with my name on it is plain wrong or if the team that I work with don’t understand the importance of the work we do. I do have SOPs, and project plans, and Excel sheets – many not out of necessity, but out of that being the way that I process the work we deliver. Another project/program manager may come in and run this show a whole other way, and that’s fine – actually, it would be welcomed.

The point though is that it’s not about how the work is operationalized – the mundane checklists that just help me ensure it’s all there aside. There are lots of ways to do any single thing. The point is that the work is meaningful.

When you get out of bed in the morning and think ahead to what this day holds and what you’ll contribute do you feel empowered to bring your A-game or do you just plan to be a warm body taking up space for that paycheck? Stay-at-home mom, police officer, electrician, project manager, lifeguard, nurse – all the professions apply – do you see CLEARLY how what you do matters? If not, I would argue that you need to take some time to re-evaluate or do something new.

Posted in Planning

5 ways to start your day

Every day is a chance to start over. You have the power today to be someone completely different than you were yesterday. Isn’t that amazing?!? It can also be scary. I have so many ideas in my head of what I want to do in this next year figuring out what to do today can be paralyzing. Don’t let that stop you. Here are 5 things you can do today to start your day in the most intentional way.

  1. Hydration and nutrition – Start your day by drinking a glass of water and eating something. This will kick-start your brain for the day.
  2. 15 minutes of You Time – Start your day by spending 15 minutes solely focused on yourself or a practice that you hold dear. If you generally get a workout in first thing in the morning then you’re already on track for this one. If you have more time – then go for it. I like to spend my 15 minutes in the shower listening to my daily devotional and praying. If you want to sit and meditate, if you need to wake-up earlier to get it in before the kids get up – then do it. It’s so valuable to start your day with something that fills you up.
  3. Tidy up – I find that I’m more productive when my work space is tidy. I work from home and tend to move from room-to-room as well so that I don’t get pressure ulcers from sitting in my desk chair and I get a new perspective. Moving my “office” around the house can be a draining practice because the total volume of clutter is directly proportional to how much time my kids spend in that same space. If I can take even a few minutes to straighten up a few things it yields big returns on my productivity.
  4. Make the list – I have a plan of the categories of work I want to complete each day. The things that have to get done that day (they can’t be moved out), the things that I’d like to get done (but if they need to move they can), and the things I want to do (things that aren’t a necessity but energize me or have a larger value proposition). Beside each item I make a notation of the type of work it is by the category and then I note how much time I expect it to take me. It’s important that you keep into perspective the number of work hours you have in each day. If you have 16 hours of work that need to get out of the fray. See this earlier blog post [Save yourself, Get out of the Fray] on how to accomplish the seemingly insurmountable.

    I start my work day with the most pressing, deadline-driven to-do’s first. Then I give my mind a break by focusing on one of the more creative to-do’s, then get back to the grind for a bit. It’s helpful to not stay in the trenches for the duration of a complete day.

  5. I set the timer – When I sit down and start working I set the timer on my phone for 50 minutes. When the timer goes off I get up for at least 5 minutes to walk around. It doesn’t have to be for long, but to get the smallest physical break helps energize me. If I’m not doing this during a conference call then I will also close my eyes for a quick mental break to.

We all work differently and we are all energized and motivated by different things. I believe these 5 practices are universal. Maybe your a firefighter and can’t set a timer for every 50 minutes to change your current environment – but you can set a timer to be intentional even if it’s to take notice of where you are and how you feel. That practice in and of itself can be energizing. I encourage you to think through these practices and which ones you can implement. In total this practice takes me less than 45 minutes in the morning and 40 minutes throughout a typical 8 hour work day.

You’re definitely worth 90 minutes each day to be intentional about how you want to show up for that day and to energize yourself throughout each day.

Posted in Planning

How to Start a Daily Planner

I’ve been asked more often here lately about my thoughts for planners. I think it’s a natural response at big transition points like a new year to want to set yourself up for success. No one wakes up each day aiming to be mediocre, right? We want all the resources we can find that set us up for success each and every day. The first question I like to ask people when they ask me about my planner preferences is – Are you going to use it? You can spend all kinds of money on planners, but if you aren’t going to use it then that money would be better spent elsewhere (or saved).

If you’ve never used a daily planner before I suggest that you get yourself a cheap $0.79 spiral bound notebook or any other notebook you can re-purpose for 14 days. Think about what you want to capture in your daily planning. Do you need to capture meetings by time block? Do you need a quick view of the month or week? Do you want each day to have it’s own page or spread, or have a spread with multiple days? Do you need a to-do list? Do you want a weekly theme, affirmation or inspirational quote to be included? Are you introducing new habits (like meal planning) that you want to track progress with? Are you using this as a productivity tracker? What other things do you want to plan for daily (workouts, water intake, kid’s appointments, Bible reading, blogging)? Maybe you know you want to have a habit of planning each day, but you have no idea what to include. In that case Google “daily planner” and do some research on content different daily planners include. You can look at images online for different planners to spark ideas.

Don’t want to create your own daily planning pages? There are lots of free printable templates you can test in this process. Google “free daily planning template.”

In your cheap or re-purposed notebook, or on the printable template you selected, set the intention to plan for 14 days. If two or three days pass and you find that you want your daily planner to include something new – then include it. If there are things you thought you needed to track daily that you find you aren’t tracking then take those things out. This is YOUR planner and you can customize it every day until you have the core of the elements you want to plan for. Now that you’re at the end of your 14 days answer these questions:

  1. Did you find that you set your plan for the day in the morning or were you retrospectively reviewing the things you did/didn’t do that day?
  2. Did you find the daily planning exercise meaningful or was it just another “to-do” added to your list?
  3. Look back at the past 14 days of entries, are there things you wish you had captured or things you captured that you don’t need to?

Daily planning is an opportunity each day to set your intention so that you stay on track with your goals. If you don’t have a vision for where you want to go and a plan for how you’re going to get there – chances are you’ll never have the opportunity to live that vision. In question 2 above, if you didn’t find this daily process valuable, failed to complete your daily plan for each of the 14 days, or found it to be just something else you needed to work into your already busy day – I would encourage you to re-evaluate why you started the process. If you have a desire to create a new vision for yourself, to re-program habits, to track progress in a plan you’ve already started – make daily planning a priority. In my opinion, planning is best if done first thing in the morning because it sets your intention for the day. You can then keep a pulse on if you’re meeting that day’s intention as day progresses and flex as needed when issues or other priorities arise.

There are literally thousands of planners available on any budget. If you don’t get in the habit of using a daily planner and know what you want to plan for then you can waste a lot of money buying all of the wrong planners. So, again, if you didn’t complete your daily planning each of the 14 days and you’ve re-assessed the need for daily planning then try again. Before you spend any money on a planner, get in the habit of using a daily planner and know what types of things you want to plan for and track each day. Start again. Plan daily for 14 days making adjustments to the template you’re using. Keep doing this process of restating why you’re planning daily, understand how you like to plan your day until you have a clear vision of what you like and what you don’t like in a daily plan. You have your daily entries from your notebook as a guide for things you tried that didn’t work out and things you wanted to incorporate and maybe changed how you captured that each day.

Now that you’ve established a daily ritual of planning your day each day and know how you like to plan each day – now you can start looking for planners. WARNING: This process of finding a planner can be overwhelming. Don’t get frustrated and settle for a less than perfect planner. You’ll be back to square one – not using it – in no time because it doesn’t work for you. Here are a few questions to ask yourself when you start looking for a planner:

  1. Does it matter if my planner is hard cover of soft cover?
  2. Do I like a wire-bound notebook or do I want a solid, lay-flat spine?
  3. Do you want a re-usable planner cover that you can purchase and switch out the inner contents as needed?
  4. Will this planner stay on your desk or will you want to throw it in your bag and carry it with you?
  5. *Don’t freak out* Do you not want a physical planner at all, but maybe an app you access on your phone or computer?

Again, there are thousands of planners available – do your research and find one that will work for you. Google “planners”, “daily planners”, “productivity tracker”, “goal setting planner”. Visit your local bookstore or office supply store. Michael’s and other craft stores also usually have a great stock of planners at the start of a new calendar or school year. If a virtual planner or planning application is what you’re after read reviews, you can search for planning and productivity apps to see what’s out there. If you have friends or co-workers that have a daily planning habit, ask them what planner they use. Don’t settle. If push comes to shove take some time in Microsoft Word to put the planning template you created for your 14 day test period into a template that you can print copies of and put those copies in a spiral bound notebook or have them bound at your local office supply company. Who knows you may perfect that template and introduce a new planner to the world.

Posted in Planning

Being the “bad guy” can be a good thing

The company that I work for is in the process of becoming DCAA compliant. I won’t bore you with what that means. You can Google it if you have to know. I tell you this to tell you that recently I have assumed the role of timesheet cop. Part of a company being DCAA compliant is ensuring you have strong timekeeping processes. Therefore, every day I run reports that show me all the time that was logged for a certain historical timeframe. I make sure that our team members are logging their time each day, make sure they’re logging all of their time each day, and making sure that they aren’t changing their time day-to-day. Yep, I’m the guy from Office Space running reports that literally no one else will look at but need done every day. Don’t get me wrong these reports take very little time to run and pivot. The soul drain comes when I send a message out to my teammates that didn’t log their time, changed time for a day in the past or entered time but forgot to enter a complete day’s time. I get GIFs of Lindsey Lohan shrugging her shoulders and rolling her eyes, I get middle finger emojis, most don’t respond at all – I’M THE BAD GUY. I totally get it.

I’m also a rule follower and when I get a list of criteria to check for I operationalize the heck out of it and I love a good ol’ Yes/No the criteria were met. It’s holding people accountable for having met said criteria that sucks. Many of these people on our team are my friends and we’ve worked together for years. I send my message in the nicest way I know how even anticipating the reaction, for example “_______, __________, ___________ [insert eye roll], This is a friendly reminder to enter your time for yesterday, Wednesday, November 28, and make sure that you’re entering your time each day. Thank you.” While we are no longer in the infancy stages of becoming DCAA compliant, we aren’t yet to the point that not meeting these criteria is punitive. At our recent in-person team meeting me and our VP of Operations did our little song and dance of why this is important and letting folks know that we would be reviewing timesheets every day, but it’s a big shift in business operations and I get that, but if we want to continue winning work (aka having jobs) then we have to change.

DCAA compliance aside this could be about anything. Me playing the role of the “bad guy” is me being victim to how I perceive other’s perception of the new task I’ve been given. No one asked me to play that role and it certainly has no merit. I’m personalizing reactions as if they have those reactions towards me and they’re not, the reactions are to the new process.  My job is to run these reports and send out the requisite messages. It would be a far bigger disservice to my team, my friends, if I didn’t do my job, we failed our DCAA audit, aren’t eligible for future work, and we all lost our jobs. My real friends will still invite me out for drinks after work timesheets aside. It’s not personal, it’s business. Occasionally business rules don’t make sense but if you want to win you have to play, and that’s why my new bad guy title is Chief Winning Officer (CWO). I’m willing to play the game so that we can continue to win the work.

Moral of this story: Next time you’re feeling like the victim or the bad guy – go high. Look for the bigger picture and ask yourself “what would happen if I didn’t do my job/this job?” Then think about the alternative scenarios that could play out if this new thing didn’t happen and you kept on business as usual. If you can’t answer this question or see the alternatives then talk with your supervisor and get to the root of why this is so important. Knowing why we do things as opposed to just doing them will build your credibility as a leader within your team and help you establish the changes that need to be made.

Posted in Planning

My Top 5 Podcasts Right Now

I’ve fallen in love with podcasts in the past few years and I’m going to share with you some of those podcasts that I tune into regularly. Before I list them I want to tell you that I don’t listen to podcasts for the entertainment value, but rather for the education. So, if you’re looking for a dramatic or theatrical podcast suggestion this isn’t going to be valuable information. I tune-in to listen to people smarter than me or steps ahead of me in something I’m interested in so that I learn from them. My time listening to any content is often limited to the 20 minutes or so of commute to drop kids off at school or when I workout. I’ll confess that sometimes I’ll slip out of the house for a walk or drive an extra block on my way home for a little more uninterrupted podcast listening time. We do what we’ve gotta do, am I right? Well without further delay here are the top 5 podcasts that I’m listening to today and why.

  1. Rise podcast by Rachel Hollis – When I learned about Rachel Hollis I was immediately obsessed and drank all the kool-aid in one gulp. I read Girl Wash Your Face, started Last 90 days, I write in my Start Today Journal, listen to the podcasts, have tickets for Rise in 2019….all the things. Rachel is that mom next door that you can actually relate to. She’s not trying to be better than you and isn’t trying to impress you. She’s living her best life and will push you to live yours. You will not be disappointed if you check out Rise or Rise Together which is the podcast she does with her husband Dave – they are gold together.
  2. The Goal Digger Podcast by Jenna Kutcher – I learned about Jenna a few months ago and when one of her titles is “professional napper” I knew we are part of the same tribe. I want to be a professional napper so bad. Oh, and the website for her podcast is all notebooks and planners and pens and that’s so me. She is a queen at teaching others about branding and creating social spaces that invite interaction. While I’ve never met her personally (yet), she’s sold me on her being genuinely in this industry to serve others and I love that. She has this coastal vibe that invites you in and has this calming effect on your soul. I could listen to her for hours. I hope you’ll take the time to check her out.
  3. Ed Mylett Podcast – I learned about Ed in a recent Rise podcast (see #1 above) and was instantly drawn to his supportive nature and enthusiasm. Since having listened to Rachel’s appearance on his podcast I’ve been binge listening in my pockets of time. He has been giving 1,000% of himself to life and business and it has paid off 10,000%+. Ed brings you powerful motivation from so many angles; baseball, bullying, entrepreneurial spirit, boxing – he uses his platform to give others a voice and fan the flame of what ignites change in us – ALL OF US. Ladies, his website is masculine and a lot (not all) of his guests are men, but the messages are for ALL OF US, and P.S. I can actually share stories about guy-stuff with my husband and his friends and they are impressed I even know some of these names…just putting that out there.
  4. Tony Robbins Podcast – I mean, how could I have a list of educational, motivational, inspirational podcasts that doesn’t include Tony? Finding your why, breaking free from stress, understanding different personality types, ending harmful relationships, how to innovate….Tony is no-non-sense and pushes the right buttons to get us beyond the superficial excuses we tell ourselves to not dig deep and make progress. Progress is the goal, right?
  5. School of Greatness by Lewis Howes – Lewis Howes I had heard was a professional athlete turned podcaster, but boy was that a bad descriptor. He lives to serve others not use his history has a professional athlete as his platform. Check him out. He believes a life well lived is more important than any money or possessions you may accumulate. He brings names you’ve heard of with stories you didn’t know they had to the table and I find it captivating. Alicia Silverstone talks about self-worth, Tony Hawk talks about creating legacies. With more than 700 episodes, there is SO MUCH CONTENT for you to listen to on topics relating to health, relationships, business, inspiration and more. Guaranteed there’s more than one thing in this podcast library you’ll find fascinating.

I hope this was valuable and maybe you learned about someone new or will learn something new from the podcasts these folks are putting out for you. The listening is easy, the work is the hard part. Enjoy the listening (and learning)!

Thankful for you

In this season of Thanksgiving I want to thank you, the readers of my blog. While this blog is still so new, you take the time to read it and give your thoughts and feedback on the content. More content will be coming in 2019 as we start rolling out series of content with a common theme and I hope you’ll stay tuned for that. In the meantime, I hope that you take the time to count all your many blessings and tell those near and far how thankful you are for their contributions to your life. Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours.

Posted in Planning

Owning Feedback

Emily, you are such a great speaker, but your content today missed the mark.

Oh my gosh. She thinks I’m ignorant. I worked so hard on this content and I’m not sure how she missed my point. Was she even listening? She never says these things to anyone else. Why does she pick on me so much?

Hold on!!!! Maybe I over thought the assignment. Maybe I made assumptions rather than seeking clarification before creating my content. Maybe just maybe she’s not picking on me but has me in her sights for promotion, and wants to see me step up my game. Maybe she knows I can do better – heck, maybe I know I can do better, but I was traveling this week, my kids are sick, and I had these other things put on my plate so this didn’t get the attention I had anticipated.

It is what it is, right? I gave a speech or a talk and the feedback I received was less than glowing.

Has this ever happened to you? Maybe you aren’t a speaker, but you received feedback on a body of work you created. When you hear the word “feedback” does it make you shutter a little? It makes me shutter a lot. I have worked for YEARS to create a reputation for myself in the program and project management space. I want my customers to know that if my name is attached to it that it will be done right and on time. If I agree to something or someone entrusts something to me to complete then I show up. Hell will freeze over before it’s not done or worse – done wrong.

There is a flip side to receiving feedback and one that I hope you will try to embrace. If you can, look at feedback as a gift rather than a direct assault on your character. Feedback or rather a response to any intellectual property you create and share with others – is just that – someone’s opinion. It doesn’t validate you as a person. It doesn’t reflect anyone else’s opinion of your work. It doesn’t have power unless you allow it to.

Next time someone wants to give you their opinion of something you shared with them I want you to fight the instinctual response to take defense. Don’t immediately respond with all of the reasons why you did it the way you did it. Don’t start talking about the other people that you consulted or had review your content before you shared it. Don’t make excuses for why you didn’t have the time to polish your content. None of that matters to your audience.

(Note: I have to make an assumption here that you aren’t on a performance improvement plan or that this feedback doesn’t come after the 4th iteration of you trying to get this right.) The person providing you feedback took their time to listen to your talk or review your content. They had a laundry list of other things they could have been doing instead, but they showed up for you. Their feedback or ideas for changes are a gift. This person is providing you with the opportunity to make your work even better. Thank them for taking the time to hear you out or review your work. Ask questions. Provide them with how you are going to use their feedback to make changes; or not. Let me repeat – OR NOT.

If the person providing you feedback is your supervisor, project manger, or the person who assigned you the work – then their insights are absolutely valuable and should be considered and incorporated. Maybe the person providing feedback has limited knowledge of your role or the project and they are offering you an unbiased opinion as a completely independent third party. Maybe they’re your friend. Maybe they don’t know the details of the assignment (style requirements, assignment details). Thank them for their time and respectfully consider their comments. They may have ideas that you nor your team would have thought of that could take your work to the next level. If not and if their feedback isn’t applicable then don’t dwell on it. Move on.

I won’t belabor this point, but it’s natural for us to take a defensive stance when we feel that we have let others down or that other’s perceptions of our work is less than exceptional. Accept feedback in all forms with an attitude of gratitude. Believe that the comments come with the commenter having the best interests of you, your team, and your project in mind. Fix/augment/revise content as needed to make it the best it can be, but when feedback isn’t valid, don’t take it to heart. Don’t give it power.

*Featured image by Comic House.